Book of Heaven
6/2/99 – Vol. 2
This morning, my most sweet Jesus wanted to let me touch my nothingness with my own hands. In the act in which He made Himself seen, the first words with which He addressed me were: “Who am I., and who are you?” In these two words I saw two immense lights: in one I comprehended God, in the other I saw my misery, my nothingness. I saw I was nothing but a shadow, just like the shadow formed by the Sun in illuminating the earth: it is dependent on the Sun, and as the Sun moves from it to other places, the shadow ceases to exist outside of Its splendor. The same for my shadow – that is, my being: it is dependent on the mystical Sun God, who can dissolve this shadow in one simple instant. What to say, then, about how I have deformed this shadow which the Lord has given me, which is not even my own? The mere thought of it was horrifying; it was stinking, putrid, all full of worms. Yet, in such a horrifying state I was forced to stand before a God so holy. Oh, how content I would have been, had I been allowed to hide in the darkest abysses!
After this, Jesus told me: “The greatest favor I can do for a soul, is to make her know herself. The knowledge of self and the knowledge of God go together; the more you know yourself, the more you know God. When the soul has known herself, as she sees that she can do nothing good by herself, her shadow, her being, transforms her in God, and it happens that she does all of her operations in God. It happens that the soul is in God and walks beside Him, without looking, without investigating, without speaking – in a word, as if she were dead. In fact, knowing the depth of her nothingness, she dares to do nothing by herself, but she blindly follows the trajectory of the operations of God.”
It seems to me that to a soul who knows herself it happens as to those people who travel in a steamer: in moving from one point to another, without taking a step of their own, they make long journeys, but everything by virtue of the steamer that transports them. In the same way, the soul, by placing herself in God, just like the people in a steamer, makes sublime flights on the way to perfection, knowing, however, that it is not her, but rather, she does it by virtue of that blessed God who carries her within Himself. Oh, how the Lord favors her, enriches her, and concedes the greatest graces, knowing that she attributes nothing to herself, but everything to Him. Oh, soul, you who know yourself – how fortunate you are!